"It is quite apparent that for centuries no form of sex expression has been more often discussed, created more concern, been fraught with fear of probable consequences and yet withal more universally practiced than has masturbation" -Lester W. Dearborn, author of The Problem of Masturbation.
Jerking off. Beating meat. Self love. Flying solo. You’ve heard them. But formally, masturbation can be defined as a “solitary sexual activity, used to achieve sexual pleasure.”
Masturbation is a form of autoeroticism in which a person sexually stimulates their own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm.
Well, if it feels so good, then why is it looked down upon in most societies?
There are a few reasons to begin with…
A hundred years ago it was generally believed by the medical profession, and particularly by alienists, that masturbation was an important and frequent cause of mental disorder. In current society, that viewpoint often manifests as the topic of sex (especially masturbation) being considered a taboo. Yikes! Feeling good, but at the cost of one’s perceived normalcy? No thanks!
Most religions forbid acts of self-pleasure as, the performance of these acts was viewed as a violation of morality and ethics. Failing to ‘control’ ones’ urges was seen as a moral failing and an ethical violation. Wow, talk about being a control freak, am I right?
Although masturbation has come to be viewed as an appropriate sexual outlet for women, they are always expected to either never recognize their inherent sexual longings, or to easily overcome their sexual desire. Here, the feeling of experiencing pleasure for a woman comes with the burden of shame and guilt. Ah society… how you continue to disappoint me.
Not only that, but the various “side-effects” of masturbation that exist? They’re provenly false. Mostly meant to be fearmongering at best and malicious at worst.
But the fact of the matter is that most people do experience guilt related to masturbation… In pop culture, feelings of guilt after masturbation (or sex) are referred to as “post-nut clarity”.
Although a large portion of our society doesn’t associate masturbation with mental disfunction anymore, there is still a huge amount of stigma associated to it. The reason behind that is mostly related to religious guilt and cultural beliefs. Not just masturbation, but sex as a whole is still a very hush-hush topic in India.
Due to a lack of clear, effective and correct information about masturbation and sexual health, many people have misconceptions about it; Which, in the case of masturbation, manifests itself in the form of unwarranted guilt regarding one’s pleasure.
A little more about guilt…
Although the term "guilt" in relation to masturbation generally has negative connotations, guilt may be of two types Rational guilt and Irrational guilt:
Rational guilt is a mature, healthy response when an individual has violated their personal standards for sexual conduct. It serves as a constructive frame of reference for future choices about sexual conduct.
On the other hand, irrational guilt, there is an absence of a constructive purpose and an external focus of control. It occurs when an individual perceives themselves as violating codes of sexual conduct and this violation becomes known to significant others. Irrational sex-guilt is often linked to the acceptance of sexual myths as facts and/or inaccurate information concerning sexuality.
Okay, but if I am feeling guilty what should I do?
To stop feeling guilty after masturbating, one must first begin to normalize self-pleasure by recognizing its natural and intrinsic nature. Everyone does it and there is nothing wrong or shameful in it.
You can challenge negative thoughts with reasonable self-compassion and understanding. Give yourself some time to understand yourself. Be patient, gentle and positive.
Engage in open communication with partners to alleviate potential relationship tensions. If you’re feeling guilty or uncomfortable with a sexual action, then the best way to help make it go away is by talking about it to your partners.
Embrace sexual education from reputable sources to dispel misconceptions. As someone said, knowledge is power! Educate yourself and gain a better understanding of sex and related activities to get rid of superstitions.
Credits: Researched, Written, and Edited by DURGA N.
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